For the time I am in Japan, I will have had host families. All of them are very different from the other, but all similar in how they have supported me while I explore their world. Each family has been a stepping stone in my education here in Japan about the many faces language and culture can possess.
Each family represents a mile stone for me, a place where I grew and learned to express again. I was once told that an exchange student is a child in the new culture, a babe learning to talk and walk all over again. Not that the way you talk or walk is wrong, but that you are experiencing something new and need to absorb what you can while you can.
My first family, the Nakamura's. They were a big family, made up of extended family members and shop assistants. They were a large connected body that welcomed me into become a piece of it with them. I come from a decent sized family myself. The women tend to be in charge, not that I have a lack of male role models. My first family was a matriarchy, my host mom being the grandma of the family and the leader. She ran the business, family, and al affairs concerning the many children of the family. It was familiar ground to me, something I welcomed in my initial state. Nothing was familiar, but I understood who was in charge and that made everything so much easier for me.
My first family was a bridge. They connected me to themselves, Rotary, and my school. I've been the new kid all my life but I've never been a new kid where I can't communicate. That was a rush, let me tell you! I was given a place in their family, one that I still have now. They looked after me, guided me, and helped me learn.
They owned a flower shop, so it was familiar ground for me again. I love flowers, I've gardened sine I was really little and the smell of flowers is relaxing to me. I would sit around the workshop and practice chatting with the shop hands. They didn't mind me taking up some extra space and I like to think they enjoyed chatting with me, they still flag me down when I see them and talk to me! The first few weeks of life in Japan are hazy with the stifling heat of summer and humidity levels that made me drown in the air, but my passage was eased by the comfort that my family gave me.
School was very stressful during that time, it was nice to have a home I could come home to and not be laughed at for talking. Not that I didn't have friends, I was just stressed beyond all reason. New language, new school, and limited communication with anyone. I had no English contact in those first few months, no English speaking friends that I could hang out with yet! Sure I had home, but I didn't come here to spend all day on the computer talking to them.
I spread myself out, offered to help teach English at school because I was getting nowhere on my own, I started going to weekly Japanese lessons where I met other ALT teachers and made friends with them. I'm thankful for their friendship even more than ever these days. I started twice monthly lessons in shamisen (Japanese guitar). I was spreading out and feeling happier for it, it had connections and appointments and friends. Real friends that I could communicate fully with and hang out with sine they lIve close by.
If my first family helped me build it, the second house helped my strengthen it. I was teaching ALT classes every Monday and Wednesday so I had something to look forword to during the school week. I had my own life and the second family supported me in helping me keep it up. They drove me to classes and let me go out to hang out with my ALT friends. They let me be me and I'm great flu for that. I started helping in my new host sisters cooking class and bonded with her over her children and food.
I have to say, she is the closest person I am to here in Japan that is Japanese and not a foreigner like myself. She is very good at inferencing and looking between the words when I talk to her. She attempts talking with me, and when I talk to her, I stop noticing my stumbles and notice where I am strong. She helps me fix when she can but she is very polite and doesn't like pointing out faults, but I appreciate her help anyway. I went to volleyball with her and her friends, made more friends through her connections. My second family was a bridge to the surrounding cities and the people in them.
My first house ws very busy with their business so I didn't go anywhere with them in all entirety, but I don't blame them. It's hard running a busy flower shop! My second host family had more time off and I with them over my first big break from school so they filled in the free days with trips to museums, art galleries, restaurants, and shopping trips to the next big city over. They showed me pieces of Japan I couldn't have seen on my own.
If my first two houses were about learning to fit in to Japan, my third host family has been about testing myself as a person. It's not that I have any real issues with my family, it's a personality barrier that chips away at me if I don't keep my focus. I don't have defense mechanisms, I don't have Andy wit or a sharp tounge to stick up for myself at all. This family teases me in a way that I find uncomfortable at its worst. It's the little things that take you down at the knees.
Yes, this family has shown me Japan and they have given me beautiful gifts and have welcomed me into their family; but they don't take into consideration that I'm not like them.
I do not get their jokes, I do not get their humor, and I do not like the mindless teasing one bit.
All of my families had money or a successful business that supported them and their close family. None have made this more apparent to me than this third family. It makes me uncomfortable even thinking about it. I don't care about money, I don't care about your social position, I don't care about the influence you have; none of this impresses me or charms me to a certain person. This family pushes my boundaries for what my thick skin and ideals can take.
I'm learning about my boundaries through them and I'll tell you, it is educational.
All of my families are special to me in their own way. Each aggravate me in their own way as well. Every day they remind me of the family I have back home, of the things I've missed and have yet to miss. They are my family as much as they aren't and it catches me in this thinking place where I'm not sure what to do I with myself.
I have roughly two months left here and I don't know whether to be happy or sad. I've learned so much already! It makes me wonder what else I could absorb if I could stay for longer, but at the same time I am home sick.
My families here have bridged me to not only Japan, but myself. That's food for thought.
See You Soon
また近いうちに
Mata chikaiuchiniou
