Nerves
That should tell you it all.
I'm not a nervous person, but I have a few doubts and worries as the date draws closer.
I don't have my visa in hand yet, which makes my nerves tingle and want to scream a little because that's the one thing I need to make all of this official. It truly is the last step to sealing this deal in a pretty wrapper.
It's nerve wracking, not having that last step. Apart from that I only have a few other worries.
I have always been the new kid in school. I've switched schools, what.... eight times in the ten years my parents have been married. I'm just fine with being the new kid, because the worries that come with it are always the same.
Who will I sit with? What will the teachers and students be like? What is the homework like? Where do I belong in the clichés? What do people wear? What is cute? How will I fit in? Will I be accepted? What happens if I don't? Now take all those worries and but them in the context where you don't have a basic grasp on the language. You don't everything these people will say, they will probably talk fast and use words you have never heard or read in your text books.
That's only phase one of nerves. Phase two is something along the lines of....
Do I speak like they do? (In America, slang changes everywhere you go. I didn't know what mudding was until I came to Detroit Lakes) Am I saying the right things to fit in? Am I acting too smart (I suffer from this one.... I don't have a dictionary filter at school, I was called Webster for a reason).
The third phase deals with family.
It is acceptable to sleep at this time? To wake up? What are my chores? Will I help cooking? Will I help with children? What is the Mom like, the Dad like? What will my siblings be like, will they like me, and will I get along with them? Will my room be mine, or will I share? Is it okay with them if I want to be alone for a moment? Will they understand me?
So getting over the language, over the school life, and over the new take on family life, nerves are abound.
But as I said before, I've been the new kid. I make friends pretty easily, a smile and a "Hello, my name is Gabi, what's yours?" can help you get by much better than being quiet and not talking to anyone. In Japanese that's "Kon'nichiwa watashi no namae wa gabi desu, anata wa nan desu ka?" It's a nice mouth full, that's for sure.
In the many phases of being a new kid, the first one is the hardest. You are an outsider. Not just in language. You don't know these people. You didn't grow up with them, you don't know their city like they do, and you don't know who is the who's-who yet.
That's the one I've always struggled with, but you can only worry about it until you get these I guess. I can't change if from here, so I just have to wait.
And waiting brings on more nerves!
I have a gut feeling that I'll be okay, I am most certain I will be okay. That doesn't stop the worrying. I'm not worried I'll do bad, or that I will screw up royally. It's more like I worry about how I will fit in. Who I will be.
I have a strong grip on who I am here in America. I even like who I am here. I have nice friends, my schooling wasn't too much of a pain and I feel a bit smarter because of the past eleven years, I know who I am in my family, and now that I've finally settled into my own skin comfortably, I'm leaving.
In my seventeen years of existence, never have I been more at home in my own skin and flesh. I like who I am, I like how I look, I like how I dress, and I just like myself. I have some self confidence for once. Now that I have that, I'm giving it up.
Well not giving it up, but changing it.
In America I know who I am, but I wonder how Japan will form me.
I don't worry that it will be bad, I'm not really nervous about it. I'm more curious than anything else.
Everyone who has come back, Rebound and Rotex, has told stories of how their views changed. Almost always it was for the better. Food boundaries are pushed and pulled, personal boundaries are shoved aside, and your cultural views are shattered.
I think it's okay for me to say that I'm excited to feel this. I like pushing my own boundaries, seeing how far I could put myself. Well I wasn't always like this, I changed after my first journey to Japan. I'm not nervous, more excited in a jittery way.
I'm not nervous about the food like I know some others are. I personally like fish, raw and cooked, I like rice, I like miso, I LOVE green tea of all kinds. I don't like spicy food, but almost every Japanese dish (True Japanese, not Americanized stuff we get in American stores) I've ever had were bitter, sour, bland, or sweet. It fits my Swedish, German, and Norwegian roots just fine! I'm a bit of a skeptic to the horror stories I've heard, of still breathing fish or watching your food die in front of you to be served at the peak of freshness. I can only wonder if those stories will happen to me too.
Every now and them I am struck with the doubt that I will be okay. I counter that with a few strong choice words in my mind, giving myself a pep talk. It wouldn't be the right choice if I weren't looking at this from every angle. I tell myself that and then I'm okay again.
I'm excited, honest. I'm filled to the seams with excitement and thankfulness that I am going on this trip. But I am also a human, so I think and overthink a situation countless times before I feel like I truly will be okay. Horror stories don't help, but they don't really hurt either. They just tell me that nothing everything is going to be perfect. Not everything will go to plan, so all you have to do is keep on your toes and think about what it is that you are doing and why you are doing it. There is really nothing much else I can do for myself in that sense.
I'm honestly not nervous about leaving my family. I know they love me. I know they understand that contact with them is the worst thing possible on this exchange. They know it and I know it. They love me enough to let me do this, so I know when I come back it will all be okay. I'm a little nervous about leaving my younger siblings though.
They are little. One is in preschool this year (We will call her No Nap), the other just starting Kindergarten (He will be called Little Man), and my oldest little sister will be starting fourth grade (She is dubbed Angel Lips). They are all pretty little. At least to me they are.
I'm nervous about how they will change, I won't be there to watch them grow up like I have for the past years. In their living memory, never have I been away for more then ten days. Never have I been so far away. Only once, for ten days was I truly away. They were all so little then that when people asked them where I was, they could say I was sleeping or at school. (Tells you a lot huh?) This will be the farthest I have ever been away from them.
Sure we have internet, the always faithful Skype and FaceBook, but what does that count for? Sure face to face is nice, but I can't hug them, or mess up their hair through a screen. I can tell them I miss them, that I love them, but there is no physical contact.
They will surely grow up when I'm not there, and I'm nervous that I won't know them anymore when I get back. I can only keep contact with them, but even that' a bad thing to do because then I am not assimilating into my host culture fully. So I worry.
My mom and dad will be okay. I know they are adults and can handle themselves. I know work around the house will get to be a bit harder, but it will be okay. I will miss them and they will miss me, and I worry but it's pointless because my family is strong and this will all be okay.
So I worry about pointless things, things that make sense, and things that I've done before in a different context. There's not much I can do to sooth my nervous worrying.
I tick off days on my calendar, work at my job for as long as I can, play with my animals, mess around with my siblings, and pack before I unpack and then repack again. As it draws closer, my worries, nerves, and doubts get a bit bigger, and I feel like they will until I plant my feet firmly on Japanese ground.
See You Soon
Mata chikaiuchini
また近いうちに
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Sunday, July 21, 2013
On Being Called Crazy
We are
We are leaving everything we know, everything we think we know, and everyone we knew. We are leaving our friends, our families, our pets, and everyone else we ever knew.
Your high school friends you thought you knew, the ones who you sat by you at lunch and in your classes; these people may or may not keep contact. That is how you find out your true friends. I know it's harsh, but it's true. That is how it goes.
We are leaving our families. The people who have loved us, will continue to love us, and will miss us before we even get on the plane. We are leaving them, but we won't be disconnected from them. We are crazy to do it, but it will help us grow up and discover what we need to about ourselves on this trip.
Out of all of the people I talk to who are also on this exchange have something, someone, and some place they will miss. Yes, we are crazy, but we are doing this for a reason.
My own reason is that I suffer from Fernweh, or the feeling of homesickness for a place you have never been to. I have been to Japan once before, and I miss it. Even if it was only a ten day trip, I miss it like it had been my home for my whole life. So that is my crazy reason, if you are a Rotarian post what your reason for doing all of it, for going through the paper work and nerves, to get to where you are going.
So yes, we are crazy. But it will be worth it for many of us.
I am going to miss my senior year. I must be crazy.
I am going to miss my senior prom. I must be crazy.
I am going to miss my senior homecoming. I must be crazy.
I am going to miss my senior graduation walk. I must be crazy.
So what?
I can be honest and say that those things don't mean much to me. I am good and dandy without these things. I am setting out into the world, and if those things above and more are my price to do it, fine.
This is a trip, that to most of the outbounds heading out, will change our world. Will change our views on just about everything. I have not heard a single rebound say that they didn't learn something and not gained something from their exchange.
Yes I will miss my family, don't get me wrong. I love them, and without their support I wouldn't be writing this blog, but they are supporting me to go. They are going to miss me more than I will ever be able to understand, but they love me enough to let me go.
They are the crazy ones.
I will miss my friends, they have supported me through school and Rotary itself. My Rotarian friends have become a part of my family, I will miss them sorely. I will miss the normality of my high school friends, but they are growing up and so am I. This is okay. We all have to sometime, I just hope this trip will show me that there is more out there than the life I have been living so far.
We, as Rotarian Youth, usually want to become a member of host's country. We are to learn about them, become family members with them; we are to become a part of their culture as best as we can, and we have to do this without losing our minds to culture shock and homesickness.
We do this because we want to. We are willingly crazy!
No one forced us onto this adventure. No one will be strapping us into the plane seat with no escape. We are doing this craziness because we want to.
So, to sum it all up. We are crazy, but a good crazy. We are expanding our horizons a bit further than America. We are going international, growing up, and learning lessons while we do it. All because our loved ones were crazy enough to let us go and do it.
They deserve a big thanks than we could ever give them.
See You Soon
Mata chikaiuchini
また近いうちに
Monday, July 15, 2013
Rotary Blazer, and All it Holds
This is my personal Rotary Blazer. Since I am from America, mine is navy blue, but if I were from Canada it would be red. It is an international symbol, just like the Rotary wheel.
These jackets come to mean a lot to the students who takes care of it. Each pin is a memory of the person who gave it to you, each little trinket attached reminds you of where it came from, and each official badge identifies you.
My official pins are my name tag (which states where I am going, where I am from, my name, and home District number), my rotary wheel patch, and my central states rotary patch. No matter where I go, as long as I have my blazer people will know who I am, where I am from, and that I am a Rotarian Youth.
A lot of my pins have a special background, each reminded me of my friends. In the picture that blazer isn't loaded, but it will be. People who have spent a year abroad return with a blazer that has gained twenty pounds of metal, fabric, and random trinkets. I have a Thai dollar, a FRC Robotics Driver pin, I have an End Polio Now Flower, and I have a cute pin from a hotel we as District 5580 stayed at. The ones I will soon add will add more memories, weight, and noise to my Blazer.
This is a way for Rotarians to connect. We trade pins with stories, we trade a memory for a memory. It's something that is purely Rotarian, and it's a way to never forget.
The blazer also helps any Rotarian get through an airport. The staff there recognize you, they know what Rotary is. Thousands of students go through the major airports every year wearing these jackets. They will help you if you ask, they will guide you if you look lost, and they will help you through the lines. Every person that I have talked to always says to wear the jacket when traveling to and from your country, it makes life and travel easier.
Not only does the blazer hold memories, it's a useful item for identification!
See You Soon
Mata chikaiuchini
また近いうちに
This Explains a Lot of What an Exchange is About
This was a video that I found, it's a message from a Youth Rotarian who went on an exchange and came back. This is her view on what it feels like:
Her words are reflected in everything a Rebound has ever told me. I hope this will help you all to realize what this trip means to us, and how it will change everyone involved in it, and how we may still be the same person when we come back, there will be changes.
See You Soon
Mata chikaiuchini
また近いうちに
Her words are reflected in everything a Rebound has ever told me. I hope this will help you all to realize what this trip means to us, and how it will change everyone involved in it, and how we may still be the same person when we come back, there will be changes.
See You Soon
Mata chikaiuchini
また近いうちに
Just a Bit on Me and Rotary
My name is Gabi. I come from a small town on the edge of Minnesota and North Dakota. I am a Youth Rotarian. Some of you may not know what this is, so I might as well add some information about that in this post.
A Youth Rotarian, is someone who participates in a Rotary Club. The Rotary Club, also known as Rotary, is an international organization dedicated to putting service above self. They help people who would like to put water wells in areas where water is scare in Africa, they are helping people end polio right now, the help local organizations by doing fundraising, they go to various countries and bring medical help, schooling, clothes, anything you can think of. On a local scale they help the city flourish.
The Rotary family is large, and I am proud to say I am a part of it, even if only as a junior member.
As a Rotarian Youth, there are options for a student exchange. This is my application and story so far.
I applied early before the school year started for my Junior year (2012-2013). The thirty page (I kid you not) application was a massive undertaking. You need a doctor to look you over, and sign on the form that he did it with blue ink. You need your dentist and eye doctor to do the same. You need all of your prescriptions copied and pasted to the form. You must tell them if you have any medical conditions. You have to have an adult in your life, that isn't a family member, sign a page after they fill out how well you would do abroad and whether you would have any issues with the new culture you would be thrown into. If you ever ask a Youth Rotary about the paper work, they will give you big eyes and a heavy sigh. It was a lot of work, but worth every frustrated moment, every cramped hand, every double visit to the doctor because he sighed it in black ink the first round.
The paper work is the hardest part.
After that you are interviewed. In my case I sat in a room with a bunch of people from my own local breakfast club. It wasn't scary, I'm not afraid of public speaking, but these people were honest in their questions they asked and the answers they gave. It was something that made me relax and speak to them about what this exchange would mean to me, how it would change my life, and how I would teach others about diversity and Rotary itself.
Sometime between Christmas and New Years, I received a letter telling me that I was accepted into Rotary as an Exchange Student. It didn't tell me my country I was to be placed in, just that I was going. It was the best Christmas present ever.
With Rotary, you apply to go to countries. Some of them you are not qualified to go to. I am not qualified to go to Germany. I haven't had two years of high school German. I was qualified to go to Mexico, with my two years of high school Spanish. Some countries don't have certain requirements, and others have a long list given to you with the rest of the paper work to be filled out. There are forty-two countries that you must rank in order of importance to you, or your ability to fill out the requirements.
My list went:
1.) Japan
2.) Norway
3.) Sweden
4.) Croatia
5.) Denmark
Onwards all the way down till I wasn't qualified to apply to the rest.
With this process, I became an Outbound. A Youth Rotarian that was to be going onto a trip. There are three types of Rotary Youth. There out Outbounds, Inbounds, and Rebounds. I am currently an Outbound, but when I get to my country, I will be an Inbound. And then when I come back from my trip, I will be called a Rebound.
In late January, all of Outbounds, Inbounds, and Rebounds from District 5580 (my big Rotary District) came together at a Winter Retreat. We were all a little awkward, but who would have guessed that the people I met there would become members of my not-family. People who I consider my family without any blood being shared between them. I met my two very good friends there, and that weekend was when I learned my country.
I was placed in Japan.
I remember my heart stopping in my chest. I think I made this really weird noise, something caught between a gasp, cry, and giggle all at once. The girl next to me had to hold me upright when I started to get pretty emotional. I will tell you all about why Japan means to much to me in the next post, but let's just say I've been waiting a long time to go back.
I called home. Cried a bit. Cried a bit more because it hit me again. Told my mom that I made it. Cried a lot more. Hung out with people and cried with them, I think even the guys had a few teary eyes (I want to believe it at least). We did so much that weekend, the beginnings of the 5580 family started. The Inbounds from other countries were practicing their English with us, and I can honestly say I was impressed. They were good, I could understand them even with their really cool accents.
We all said our "See you later"s, because Youth Rotarians never say goodbye.
Back to school, back to life, and the magic of Exchange began to fade as testing and finals began to take over. Nothing sucks more than knowing where you are going without really knowing where you are going. I knew my country, but I didn't know my city. I didn't know my school. I just knew that I was being placed in the country I loved.
Then there was the Bemidji meeting in late April. I packed up my brand new Rotary Blazer, ready to see my friends again. To share stories and concerns, to check and see if they had gotten any news as to where they were going.
I'm going to say a few words about the Rotary Blazer. It is your identification card, because it is purely yours. Depending on what country you are from will decide the color of the blazer. I am from America, so mine is navy blue. If I were from Canada, mine would be red. A lot of countries have navy blue. When meeting new people from Rotary, you exchange pins. You trade your own for someone else's, and then you stick them to the jacket. It is a way to remember them, to spread your own name, and to see a glimpse of the country they are from.
I am from Minnesota, so my pin is the outline of the state with the state flag embossed into it. I've been told it's really pretty, but my favorite pins are the ones made by the person handing them out. Those are the ones with a story behind them, they are something special indeed!
Back to late April. It was the District meeting, so Rotary members from all around the District of 5580 gathered in Bemidji to listen to speeches, raise money, eat, have fun, and see the exchange students. As an Outbound, I gave a speech on what it was like to be an outbound. There will be a post of said speech eventually, I have to copy it down into a post.... anyway, there was a talent show. We all have something special about us (arguably crazy because we are all putting ourselves out into the world). Some can dance, some can do amazing things with basketballs, some can sing with a beautiful voice, some can give a moving speech, and others can't quite to get up onto that stage to prove to the world that they are special too.
I loved that meeting. Bonds were reinforced, we spent the whole day, and night, together as a group or smaller groups. We ate lunch and dinner with other Rotary members, taught them about ourselves and how much their support means to us as Outbounds, Inbounds, and Rebounds. They support us by sponsoring us, hosting us, and welcoming us back home. A few of them didn't realize how much their time and effort meant, they should know! They do so much for us, and we can only do so much in return.
I got no news on where I was being placed until the last day of the meeting. I was eating breakfast with my roommates and my IPod pinged. It does that to tell me I've received mail. I ignored it for a bit, figuring it was spam. Well it wasn't spam, later that morning I opened it and saw that my host district had contacted me.
My Host District was 2740.
They were welcoming me already, they gave me a contact to e-mail. She was my counterpart, she and I were switching districts. I have been talking to since, and I plan on talking to her for a very long time. They also said they would send my guarantee forms as soon as they possibly could. We needed those forms to apply for a Visa to get into the country and stay (American can spend up to 90 days in Japan without a Visa as long as they can prove to be finically stable). They forms would prove that I was an Exchange Student to their District, and it would also tell me which school I would be in. These forms also give you your first host family, and your YEO (Youth Exchange Officer, who you have to speak to if there are any problems, concerns, or if you need help.)
My forms gave me my Host Club, my Host Club Counselor, my First Host Family (In Rotary you may be paired with around three families), my school was given to me (also when my school will start), my arrival dates, a list of Japan tours I would have to pay for (but I've been told they are so worth it), and a whole slew of rules.
So I was in contact with my Host Sister, my counterpart is also a member of my First Host Family. I am going to go to a Vocational School, my Host Sister's Twin goes to my school and would like to be a cook. This is awesome for me, I graduated from High School early (though I am waiting to get my diploma when I get back stateside) and would like to learn how to cook cultural foods, get an education in simple arts and crafts, and join an afterschool club.
It also gave me my leave dates, one of the most important things on my forms, were August 16/17th. A month after I turn 17 I will be surrounded by a new culture. I can't wait for this adventure, this experience, this madness.
School ended somewhere in the haze of my amazement and excitement. I don't remember much of my last days, but I'm fine with that. It was a lot of testing, a lot of worry and heartache over the good grades I needed and wanted to get. I don't have my diploma, but I have enough credits to not have to go back to High School when I come back. I'm missing the entirety of my senior year, and a lot of my American friends are horrified at that thought.
"What about Prom?" "What about Homecoming?" "What about your family? Won't you miss them?" I'll expand a bit more in a different post, but these were a lot of the questions I was asked.
So in mid July there was a District wide meeting, of all the clubs and various other District from the surrounding areas coming together to welcome home some of the Rebounds who have already come back, to say goodbye to the Inbounds who have to go home now, and to welcome the Outbounds to what is to be a crazy year.
I met up with my other fellow 5580 members. Quite a few of the Inbounds had already gone home, but a few of my really good friends remained. It was hard to be happy when around them, but I did it anyway. It's not like I won't even be seeing them again, just a bit of distance will be placed between myself and them. I was told it's bittersweet, the going home.
You fall in love with your host country (usually), you may have just finally mastered the language, you are no longer in culture shock and have become bi-cultural, and now it is time for you to return to a home that you are a stranger to. One of my Thai friends admitted to me that she forgot how to be polite in her own language because English became such a big part of her life. Back to the people you love and miss, who love you and have missed you before you even stepped foot on that plane. Sweet because it's been almost a year, and bitter because it's almost been a year.
I exchanged pins and business cards with my fellow Outbounds, Inbounds, and Rebounds.
I watched an amazing talent show, had many of my questions answered. My Grandma and Mom also went with, and they had their questions answered. It was helpful for culture shock and reverse culture shock. It was helpful with language skills, and connected me to the other students who are going to Japan as well. I talked to Japanese Outbounds, Inbounds, and Rebounds. And they soothed a lot of my fears, worries, and fanned my passion for my Host Country,.
And now here I am, back home, back to the normality of work and family. Back to the American dream of a life. I am so lucky. SO VERY LUCKY. Saying lucky is shallow in this situation, but there are no other words that suite the situation. Maybe blessed, maybe something else, but I have a feeling there is no words that accurately describes my situation.
I tick of the days on my calendar. I plan my "see you soon' gifts to my younger siblings. I plan my "see you soon"s to the people who have loved me since the time I took my first breath. I plan my new life in a new country. And I am planning for a trip of a lifetime. I'm saying goodbye to American High School (because I am NOT going back. EVER.)
So this is the beginning of it all. I'm feeling pretty brave about this new world.
See You Soon
Mata chikaiuchini
また近いうちに
A Youth Rotarian, is someone who participates in a Rotary Club. The Rotary Club, also known as Rotary, is an international organization dedicated to putting service above self. They help people who would like to put water wells in areas where water is scare in Africa, they are helping people end polio right now, the help local organizations by doing fundraising, they go to various countries and bring medical help, schooling, clothes, anything you can think of. On a local scale they help the city flourish.
The Rotary family is large, and I am proud to say I am a part of it, even if only as a junior member.
As a Rotarian Youth, there are options for a student exchange. This is my application and story so far.
I applied early before the school year started for my Junior year (2012-2013). The thirty page (I kid you not) application was a massive undertaking. You need a doctor to look you over, and sign on the form that he did it with blue ink. You need your dentist and eye doctor to do the same. You need all of your prescriptions copied and pasted to the form. You must tell them if you have any medical conditions. You have to have an adult in your life, that isn't a family member, sign a page after they fill out how well you would do abroad and whether you would have any issues with the new culture you would be thrown into. If you ever ask a Youth Rotary about the paper work, they will give you big eyes and a heavy sigh. It was a lot of work, but worth every frustrated moment, every cramped hand, every double visit to the doctor because he sighed it in black ink the first round.
The paper work is the hardest part.
After that you are interviewed. In my case I sat in a room with a bunch of people from my own local breakfast club. It wasn't scary, I'm not afraid of public speaking, but these people were honest in their questions they asked and the answers they gave. It was something that made me relax and speak to them about what this exchange would mean to me, how it would change my life, and how I would teach others about diversity and Rotary itself.
Sometime between Christmas and New Years, I received a letter telling me that I was accepted into Rotary as an Exchange Student. It didn't tell me my country I was to be placed in, just that I was going. It was the best Christmas present ever.
With Rotary, you apply to go to countries. Some of them you are not qualified to go to. I am not qualified to go to Germany. I haven't had two years of high school German. I was qualified to go to Mexico, with my two years of high school Spanish. Some countries don't have certain requirements, and others have a long list given to you with the rest of the paper work to be filled out. There are forty-two countries that you must rank in order of importance to you, or your ability to fill out the requirements.
My list went:
1.) Japan
2.) Norway
3.) Sweden
4.) Croatia
5.) Denmark
Onwards all the way down till I wasn't qualified to apply to the rest.
With this process, I became an Outbound. A Youth Rotarian that was to be going onto a trip. There are three types of Rotary Youth. There out Outbounds, Inbounds, and Rebounds. I am currently an Outbound, but when I get to my country, I will be an Inbound. And then when I come back from my trip, I will be called a Rebound.
In late January, all of Outbounds, Inbounds, and Rebounds from District 5580 (my big Rotary District) came together at a Winter Retreat. We were all a little awkward, but who would have guessed that the people I met there would become members of my not-family. People who I consider my family without any blood being shared between them. I met my two very good friends there, and that weekend was when I learned my country.
I was placed in Japan.
I remember my heart stopping in my chest. I think I made this really weird noise, something caught between a gasp, cry, and giggle all at once. The girl next to me had to hold me upright when I started to get pretty emotional. I will tell you all about why Japan means to much to me in the next post, but let's just say I've been waiting a long time to go back.
I called home. Cried a bit. Cried a bit more because it hit me again. Told my mom that I made it. Cried a lot more. Hung out with people and cried with them, I think even the guys had a few teary eyes (I want to believe it at least). We did so much that weekend, the beginnings of the 5580 family started. The Inbounds from other countries were practicing their English with us, and I can honestly say I was impressed. They were good, I could understand them even with their really cool accents.
We all said our "See you later"s, because Youth Rotarians never say goodbye.
Back to school, back to life, and the magic of Exchange began to fade as testing and finals began to take over. Nothing sucks more than knowing where you are going without really knowing where you are going. I knew my country, but I didn't know my city. I didn't know my school. I just knew that I was being placed in the country I loved.
Then there was the Bemidji meeting in late April. I packed up my brand new Rotary Blazer, ready to see my friends again. To share stories and concerns, to check and see if they had gotten any news as to where they were going.
I'm going to say a few words about the Rotary Blazer. It is your identification card, because it is purely yours. Depending on what country you are from will decide the color of the blazer. I am from America, so mine is navy blue. If I were from Canada, mine would be red. A lot of countries have navy blue. When meeting new people from Rotary, you exchange pins. You trade your own for someone else's, and then you stick them to the jacket. It is a way to remember them, to spread your own name, and to see a glimpse of the country they are from.
I am from Minnesota, so my pin is the outline of the state with the state flag embossed into it. I've been told it's really pretty, but my favorite pins are the ones made by the person handing them out. Those are the ones with a story behind them, they are something special indeed!
Back to late April. It was the District meeting, so Rotary members from all around the District of 5580 gathered in Bemidji to listen to speeches, raise money, eat, have fun, and see the exchange students. As an Outbound, I gave a speech on what it was like to be an outbound. There will be a post of said speech eventually, I have to copy it down into a post.... anyway, there was a talent show. We all have something special about us (arguably crazy because we are all putting ourselves out into the world). Some can dance, some can do amazing things with basketballs, some can sing with a beautiful voice, some can give a moving speech, and others can't quite to get up onto that stage to prove to the world that they are special too.
I loved that meeting. Bonds were reinforced, we spent the whole day, and night, together as a group or smaller groups. We ate lunch and dinner with other Rotary members, taught them about ourselves and how much their support means to us as Outbounds, Inbounds, and Rebounds. They support us by sponsoring us, hosting us, and welcoming us back home. A few of them didn't realize how much their time and effort meant, they should know! They do so much for us, and we can only do so much in return.
I got no news on where I was being placed until the last day of the meeting. I was eating breakfast with my roommates and my IPod pinged. It does that to tell me I've received mail. I ignored it for a bit, figuring it was spam. Well it wasn't spam, later that morning I opened it and saw that my host district had contacted me.
My Host District was 2740.
They were welcoming me already, they gave me a contact to e-mail. She was my counterpart, she and I were switching districts. I have been talking to since, and I plan on talking to her for a very long time. They also said they would send my guarantee forms as soon as they possibly could. We needed those forms to apply for a Visa to get into the country and stay (American can spend up to 90 days in Japan without a Visa as long as they can prove to be finically stable). They forms would prove that I was an Exchange Student to their District, and it would also tell me which school I would be in. These forms also give you your first host family, and your YEO (Youth Exchange Officer, who you have to speak to if there are any problems, concerns, or if you need help.)
My forms gave me my Host Club, my Host Club Counselor, my First Host Family (In Rotary you may be paired with around three families), my school was given to me (also when my school will start), my arrival dates, a list of Japan tours I would have to pay for (but I've been told they are so worth it), and a whole slew of rules.
So I was in contact with my Host Sister, my counterpart is also a member of my First Host Family. I am going to go to a Vocational School, my Host Sister's Twin goes to my school and would like to be a cook. This is awesome for me, I graduated from High School early (though I am waiting to get my diploma when I get back stateside) and would like to learn how to cook cultural foods, get an education in simple arts and crafts, and join an afterschool club.
It also gave me my leave dates, one of the most important things on my forms, were August 16/17th. A month after I turn 17 I will be surrounded by a new culture. I can't wait for this adventure, this experience, this madness.
School ended somewhere in the haze of my amazement and excitement. I don't remember much of my last days, but I'm fine with that. It was a lot of testing, a lot of worry and heartache over the good grades I needed and wanted to get. I don't have my diploma, but I have enough credits to not have to go back to High School when I come back. I'm missing the entirety of my senior year, and a lot of my American friends are horrified at that thought.
"What about Prom?" "What about Homecoming?" "What about your family? Won't you miss them?" I'll expand a bit more in a different post, but these were a lot of the questions I was asked.
So in mid July there was a District wide meeting, of all the clubs and various other District from the surrounding areas coming together to welcome home some of the Rebounds who have already come back, to say goodbye to the Inbounds who have to go home now, and to welcome the Outbounds to what is to be a crazy year.
I met up with my other fellow 5580 members. Quite a few of the Inbounds had already gone home, but a few of my really good friends remained. It was hard to be happy when around them, but I did it anyway. It's not like I won't even be seeing them again, just a bit of distance will be placed between myself and them. I was told it's bittersweet, the going home.
You fall in love with your host country (usually), you may have just finally mastered the language, you are no longer in culture shock and have become bi-cultural, and now it is time for you to return to a home that you are a stranger to. One of my Thai friends admitted to me that she forgot how to be polite in her own language because English became such a big part of her life. Back to the people you love and miss, who love you and have missed you before you even stepped foot on that plane. Sweet because it's been almost a year, and bitter because it's almost been a year.
I exchanged pins and business cards with my fellow Outbounds, Inbounds, and Rebounds.
I watched an amazing talent show, had many of my questions answered. My Grandma and Mom also went with, and they had their questions answered. It was helpful for culture shock and reverse culture shock. It was helpful with language skills, and connected me to the other students who are going to Japan as well. I talked to Japanese Outbounds, Inbounds, and Rebounds. And they soothed a lot of my fears, worries, and fanned my passion for my Host Country,.
And now here I am, back home, back to the normality of work and family. Back to the American dream of a life. I am so lucky. SO VERY LUCKY. Saying lucky is shallow in this situation, but there are no other words that suite the situation. Maybe blessed, maybe something else, but I have a feeling there is no words that accurately describes my situation.
I tick of the days on my calendar. I plan my "see you soon' gifts to my younger siblings. I plan my "see you soon"s to the people who have loved me since the time I took my first breath. I plan my new life in a new country. And I am planning for a trip of a lifetime. I'm saying goodbye to American High School (because I am NOT going back. EVER.)
So this is the beginning of it all. I'm feeling pretty brave about this new world.
See You Soon
Mata chikaiuchini
また近いうちに
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)