On Japanese Classmates

SUPPORT

I live in a small town, small for Japan at least.  For me it is big enough, almost too big actually.  30,000 people call Kashima home.  Back in Minnesota, Detroit Lakes was home to 9,000 people.  I'm used to the small town air of life, and Kashima has that.

Small town life also bleeds into school life.  You know just about everyone because their sibling is your classmates, your neighbor, or they go to the same shops as you.  It's kind of like that here in Kashima.  I have a small radius that I spend most of my time in, and I am recognized in it too.

The dollar-store women know me, the cashiers at the super know me, and the police know me because I bike in front of their office every day.  I'm well known in the circuit I run daily, or at least every other day.

My classmates recognize me everywhere.  

I could be standing in line at the grocery store, and BAM.  A classmates walks up (if she is a girl and I know her well I get a hug, if not known that well they touch my arm.  If a boy they wave and smile or walk up and touch my arm) and starts talking to me about one thing or another.  Usually what I am getting, where I am going, and what I have been up to.  Questions seem more like an interrogation when coming from a bubbly Japanese girl.

I get asked just about every questions under the sun.

Have you eaten rice before?  Yes, I love it.

What is your favorite (Japanese) food?  Miso, we don't have anything like it in America.  I also really like Matcha flavored chocolate!  Their reaction is hilarious, Miso is like bread and butter to Japanese.

Do you know....? Insert anything you can think of, appropriate and inappropriate.  I gently guide the inappropriate questions away from the topic if it seems like they really don't know what they are saying, just parroting something they heard somewhere else.  If they seem like they mean it, they get ignored and brushed off.

The appropriate questions are pretty fun.  It's like they are trying to dig deep and see how much research I did.  If I was truly prepared for Japan or not.

They ask what animes and mangas I've read.  Japanese cartoons and comics for those of you who don't know.  My classmates are thrilled that I can answer with the Japanese names and can describe my favorite characters (My characters have English names that aren't like their Japanese counter parts usually, if they are then I am lucky!)

They ask about my school in America.  What textbooks, teachers, school rules, classrooms, classmates, and anything else they can think of that they really want to know the answer to.  I don't mind sitting there answering in broken Japanese and strangely accented English.  It makes them happy.  They are curious.  For some of them I am the first foreigner that they have actually talked to and been face to face with.

My favorite questions they have asked me so far, was what is my dream?

That one threw me through a loop.  You see, my dream was coming back to Japan.  To return to the land of the rising sun for a whole year.  I planned, plotted, and worked three years for this.  It's hard to explain that you are living your dream.  That you really don't dream for much else.  I'm living in the long term goal I had set the moment I had my feet firmly planted on American soil.

I don't really have my next big goal set.  That made me feel a little lost.  College is not a goal.  No, it is a mission I will complete.  There is no "not going to finish college" thought in my mind.  I'm going to go to college, complete it with a degree, and move on to the next big thing.  I have that planned out.  It's not really a goal.

So the best answer I could give them was that my goal was to come back to Japan after finishing college.  It's the best I could come up with on short notice!

They have a bottomless fascination with my hair, eyes, glasses, and body in general.

I warn those that are coming to an Asian country, be prepared to shrink the radius of your comfort bubble.

You may bathe among complete strangers, naked.  You may be touched and prodded, by strangers.  You may be pushed and hit around a little (softly but still).  There are many differences in how people treat each other physically here.

My classmates slap each other on the back of the head when they act stupid, say something mean, or are just being funny.  They hug and lay in each other’s laps, boys included.  They hold hands and lean on each other.  They play with each other’s hair.  They eat from the same chopsticks, feeding their friends.

I have had all of this done to me, I don't mind physical contact at all.  I have a pretty small bubble and that can shift even further depending on the situation.  I just go with the flow.

Good thing.  I would have lost my mind a few weeks ago.

They borrow my glasses, makes funny faces with them and walk around.  They take my hair out of my bun to play with it and try and put it back up.  I swear they could sit there and brush it for hours.  They poke my chest, only relatively close friends do this, and it's not in a malicious or sexual way.  It's like they have a childish curiosity about a body that is nothing like theirs.  They marvel at my eye colors.  I have two, light brown and dark brown, and I also have two different pupil sizes.  This is something basically unknown here in Japan.  They hug me close, they hop up for a piggyback ride.  They hold my hand to guide me.  They are always close.

So, prepare yourselves!  It may be just because this is a small town, and I go to a small school (only two hundred students), but they are very touchy-feely!

I actually like my classmates.  They make my generally boring day at school a little livelier.  They add spice and fun, sometimes a dash of homesickness because they remind me of my friends back home.  It's all okay in the end.  If I feel sad I can just walk up to one of them and ask for a hug.  It's that easy.  Just a simple question and I'm swamped by girls who want to hug the American.  My friends here hug me because I'm me though, and that makes everything all good.

They help me with my studying.  Sitting with me during breaks between classes and having me read out of the books I am translating to learn the written language.  I stumble, fall over syllables, wreck paragraphs, and make a general mess out of the beautiful language.  They don't care and have me do it over and over again until it sounds just right to them.  They explain a Kanji if I can't read it, putting it into Hiragana and Katakana for me when I ask.  I have their support.

They always tell me to fight, to try my best, and good luck.  I take those words to heart.  They help push me along when I read a wall with the language barrier.  Their attempts to comfort me with English also help, telling me its okay I screwed up even when I'm honestly not mad about my mistake. They try just as hard as I do.

During lunch I sit with my group of girls and eat with them.  Laughing and relaxing.  You could almost call it bonding, but I call it just being friends.  They make me smile and laugh, laugh so hard they join in with me because I sound funny to them when I giggle.

I teach them English foods and they teach me Japanese.  I teach them English terms and they teach me Japanese ones.  It's a trade, and everything helps.

We share food between our bentos and I bring American candy sometimes when I have some (I'm out right now....).

Two worlds meet during lunch, casual conversation over bentos about the differences and similarities.  It never ceases to amaze me.  I'm in awe at these people.  I'm grateful for their help, support, and cheers.  They are proud of every step I take with them.  Every Japanese word I utter is welcomed, every English lesson looked forward to.

People who would have never met are laughing and sharing stories, mixing up two languages to make it work.  People I didn't know that I needed in my daily life for their fun antics and guidance in a culture where I thought I knew what I was doing but really had no clue.

They help me.  I realize that these are the people my heart will break over when I have to leave and return back home. These people are the ones I will keep contact with, send letters, and treats to. These are the people I will bawl my eyes out for because I'm not ready to leave them and their help, their support and gentle guidance.

See You Soon

Mata chikaiuchini

また近いうちに