Translate

Friday, January 17, 2014

On The Four-Way Test and Using It

Stereotype

I wanted to keep this blog for just myself and not upload it, but I think a lesson can be learned when we start to talk about Stereotypes.  Any kind of Stereotype is a label.  Usually they are a harsh label used as a derogative towards a race, an idea, or an action.  They are more often than not hurtful.

When traveling it is especially important to keep stereotypes as far away from yourself as possible.

In Rotary there is a thing called the Four Way Test.  Each Rotary meeting I have been to a moment is spent to go over these rules.  They are as follows;

1.) Is it the Truth?
2.) Is it Fair to all concerned?
3.) Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
4.) Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?

They are rules, tests, to see if what you are doing, saying, or thinking is correct and kind to all.  I try and keep these in my mind when I am going about daily life.  I will not lie and say I have not failed the test.  I have.  More times than I am comfortable admitting.  They are guidelines that try and help to make you and others better people.

Back to Stereotypes.  I’m keeping it a capitalized word through this blog to emphasize how much of any issue it is.   It is a pink elephant of an issue.  We don’t realize that we do it, but we do.  I didn’t until I took a good look at my own actions and noticed patterns I fell into according to someone’s race or position in society.  I was disgusted with myself because I believe all deserve a chance, and here I was, judging before knowing.  I was doing exactly what I disliked, what a hypocrite I was and sometimes still am.

Who was I to judge them?  Who was I to change my actions because of a stupid little stereotypes?  Who was I to treat them differently without even knowing who they were?  It wasn’t my place, that much I am sure of.

I should know, I was labeled as well.  I was smart in school, a big no-no because I raised my hand time and time again and knew the answers.  People didn’t like me because I knew, because I was smart, because I liked to read books, and they didn’t like me because I liked school.  All because of the stereotype I was labeled with.  I was a geek.  I was a nerd.  People didn’t hang out with me because of that stereotype, before they knew who I was.

I may have been smart but I was also interested in other things besides school.  I love art.  I love culture. So what if you weren’t smart, we could have talked about art.  We could have talked about any foreign culture.  It is not fair to me for you to label me as such.  It is not fair to yourself because you are keeping yourself from learning new things about new people, new things about the world.  It does not build goodwill and better friendships.  It hurts feelings.  It gives bullies power.  It hurts feelings to the point where they are never really fixed again.  It is never beneficial to anyone to be labeled and it is not beneficial to yourself to label anyone in anyway.

Never view someone through eyes tinted with a Stereotype or two.

Every day in Japan I am faced with Stereotypes.  Almost every day I battle them and try my best to dispel them.  I am an American in an Asian country, Japan specifically.  Japan is known to be racist, but that in itself is a huge stereotype.

I have come across people who don’t care about my race.  Who don’t care that I don’t look like them, can’t speak like them, and don’t know their culture like they do.  These people are my favorite.  These are the ones I keep close because I know they don’t mind answering my questions and they answer them honestly.

I have run into people who stare and don’t blink when I make eye contact (very rude here).  I have made kids cry by just looking at them.  I have come across people who refused to stand near me because of my race.  I have come across people who have called me dirty.  I know this because I understand more Japanese when it is spoken to me then when I speak it myself.

I answer questions most would think ridiculous. “Do you have microwaves in America?”  “Do you all eat doughnuts?”  “Are all Americans… big?”  “Are all Americans democrats or republicans?”  I am no expert on America.  I have lived there my whole life, but I am no expert.  I am a teenage girl who focused on academics rather than what my fellow American enjoyed eating. 

It was through these questions that American, real America, the America beyond the news reels and the movies, is basically unknown here in my area of Japan.  They only knew what has been shown to them.  We are so very similar in that sense. I know nothing about the Middle East besides what has been shown on the news.  They know nothing of America besides what is learned through the screen of a TV.

We have been fighting Racial Stereotypes, Gender Stereotypes, and Religious ones for many, many, many years.

Stereotypes feed on themselves.  They are passed down from parent to child.  They spread over continents and seem to be universal.  Keep an open mind.  People will surprise you.  Not everyone can be categorized and labeled.  Humans are individual.  We are ourselves because of our opinions, our teachings, and our personality.  No one is exactly the same.  There are patterns in behavior, learned actions that are viewed as Stereotypes.  Yes, those do exist.  They are not a base for how you should treat a person though.

Treat others as you would want to be treated.  It was something I learned in kindergarten.  It was something my teachers stressed.  It was something that the various exhibitions against bullying stood for. We were all taught it but sometimes we don’t listen.

It seems like it has taken years for that idea to firmly root itself in my mind.  I’m personally ashamed of that and have made promises to myself to view less the Stereotype and more the person.  They could be my new friend, my new business partner, or they could be someone who becomes important later on in my life; I do no good making a bad impression because of something as petty as a Stereotype.

Traveling has certainly taught me to keep my eyes and ears open while keeping my mouth shut so I can view the world around me without an expectation.  Traveling has anchored the idea of looking past Stereotypes in me as well.  In American, once I was in high school and separated from the mean kids, the ones who labeled me, I was happier.  Stereotypes faded into bad memories of middle school and freshmen year.

Then I went to Japan.

Then the Stereotypes were pointed at me again, it’s a feeling that is hard to swallow.  This time not because I was smart, but because of my race; something I can’t change or pretend that I’m not.  It was like being dunked into a vat of ice water, coming up and gasping for breath because you weren’t prepared for the sheer level of cold you were greeted with.  It’s better, much better now, because those around me are now looking beyond my skin color and looking into the person I am.  They have learned that I like kids, I study hard, that I like school, that I make friends, that I like to learn new hobbies, and that I am a human just like them.

Stereotypes, a dirty words people really don’t like to hear.  They are not the truth.  They are not kind.  They are no fair to anyone.  They do not build relationships or any form of goodwill.  They are most certainly not beneficial to anyone involved with them.

I believe this is Rotary’s mission with the exchanges.  We show others that their views of America may be skewed.  We show out host families, friends, and peers that we are very much like them even though we may be from the other side of the world.  It’s a huge place we live in, Earth.  We may all be very far from each other but at the same time we are all so very similar.

Don’t let a Stereotype muddy your views.  Don’t let it keep you from making a friendship.  Don’t let it ruin your chances in the academic and business world.  Don’t let it ruin your travels.  DO NOT let it ruin your chances of making a good friend.  Don’t let them hurt your children by teaching them to judge others without a second thought.

Maybe it is not as big a deal as I think it is, but it’s an issue without really being an issue in my own life.

I know I rambled through this, but I’m passionate about it.  Sometimes you need to be thrown headlong into something to see that it really is there.
                                                                                                                                                  

See You Soon
Mata chikaiuchini
また近いうちに

No comments:

Post a Comment