On Being a Child

 Young

No one in this world is born knowing a language.  Yes, we are predisposed to it through our mothers talking.  We can hear them before we are born and thus pick up the language ‘habits’ of language our mother speaks.  It is scientifically proven that baby’s cries are specific to the language their mother spoke while they were in the womb, they were listening and picked up on the tendencies of their mother tongue.

Everything else is learned by watching and listening, by having everything repeated endlessly until we finally grasp that these sounds mean this or that this sound makes this happen, this gets this kind of reaction and that doesn't get a reaction at all.

Language is a bunch of noises strung together that make an idea out of the language itself.  The brain basically made the noises for language, what we will call it, and what each noise stands for.  This varies from country to country, but language all has the same root of being a noise that stands for an idea within the noise.

For us on exchange, we are babies.  We don’t typically know our host language and are a little lost at first.

Have you ever wondered why children have such short fuses?  So quick to temper when they don’t get what they want even when you assure them it will happen soon?  It’s because they don’t know what you are saying and there is no way to tell them what it is you are saying to them.  There are no translations they could possibly understand.  There is no way for YOU to understand what it is that they are saying to you as well.  They could be explaining why they are so angry for all we know, and yet we don’t even known that we don’t know.  Just like they don’t understand you at all.  So they get mad, throw a tantrum, get over it, and learn what the noises stand for eventually.  Until then they will stay angry.

We exchangers are very similar, but we have a huge flaw that children don't have.  We already know one language.  We are already fluent.  We already think, dream, and speak in a language probably vastly different from the one we are trying to learn.  That screws us up and over.  We can’t absorb quickly any more, our age making it harder and harder to become fluent in another language easily.

We can’t just replace our thoughts with another languages, that’s far too hard for any normal human to do!  We struggle to learn, and we are lucky we have translator in some cases.  In others we have none and so we get angry, our emotions get jumbled, and we grasp at straws.  A theoretical tantrum if you’ll humor the idea.

We start to grow up though.  Sentences begin to flow easier.  We get our tenses right.  It may not look like it, but on the inside I’m sure some of us celebrate and do a little dance.  I know I do when my language skills sharpen slightly, when I can talk to someone without having to translate every other word.

The growing pains are there for sure as well.  The frustration and hurt when you have to give up because nothing makes sense and you are only confusing the person you are talking to.  The bone deep tiredness that comes with studying and practicing so you can say it right the first time and make a good impression.  The mental drain from thinking in one language and speaking another and the mix up between the two.  It all hurts, but so worth it in my opinion.

I’m nowhere near fluent, I’m just getting down the basics and able to answer what they are asking.  I know more when it is spoken to me than actually speaking it myself.

After speaking comes reading.  Children spend years in school learning how to read their own language.  Most of us exchange students have people expecting us to be good at in a few months’ time.  Some of the languages we are thrown into don’t use a roman alphabet or anything similar to one.  These are the Asian countries mainly.

Maybe I’m just special, but I can read Hiragana in most cases (as long as it is neat handwriting), it took about a month to fully memorize and link joint sounds to varied symbols.  Then there were the ‘dirty’ sounds of Japanese where what is read as ‘ha’ is said as ‘wa’ and ‘tsu’ marks that a work ends sharply and a ‘-‘means is a long vowel.  It took some work, some studying, and some blistered fingers, but I did it.  I’ve got a good grasp on it.

Kanji is a whole other story though.  Most Japanese don’t know how to read more than a handful of them even.  They spend years and years in school memorizing and picking them apart to understand them.  Here I am, with Rotarians saying I should have them all memorized in a few months.  Hate to say it, but nope.  I’m going to try and get the basic ones, but I don’t think I can accomplish what the Japanese can’t even do in a lifetime in a few months.  As good at studying as I am…. That’s like asking someone to learn astrophysics overnight.

Back to language and such.

I took it for granted that I think in fluent American English.  That I write fluently in American English.  That I can do just about anything in American English fluently.

It’s hard to wrap ones head around the idea that the person sitting next to you might not even think in the same language as you.  Their dreams are in a different language.  Everything they know is a different language.

Before you are quick to judge that person next to you, struggling with English or the language you personally speak, think about this; their brains weren’t wired to it, their thoughts might not be in your language, and yet they are still trying to talk to you in your own tongue.

Be a good person and stay with them while they work it through, let them stumble before you correct them (be sure to be kind when doing so), and just listen to their words.  They are the words coming from the brain of another language to yours.

To me, these words are like a gift from the person to myself.  I appreciate their actions and I try to help them the best I can.  Someone is pushing their mind into overdrive as they struggle, caught between two worlds in their own mind.

To the people who are fluent in more than one language, all I have to say is, “GO YOU”.  You did something most of my peers will probably never do willingly.  You accomplished something some people could ever imagine or hope to accomplish.  So go you!

Being a small child, at least mentally, is not a lot of fun.  There are moments where you feel ecstatic because of some similarity or another, but usually it’s frustration at not being understood, of not understanding, and over switching between two languages so fast it gives you a headache.

Every pain is worth the steps.  Every headache is worth the small bits of fluency.  It’s all worth it in the end, because that moment you open your mouth and something wonderful comes out, something that no one else but those who have gone through what you have to get to where you are can appreciate, something you worked so hard to get, you feel a moment of normalcy.  

Everything in you is balanced again.  Of talking, of being understood, of knowing exactly what you are saying and the exact reason why.  There is normalcy, something you haven’t felt since leaving behind your language of fluency.  Sure there are talks back home, talks on video with friends, and talks with fellows who know your language; but it’s not truly the same.

Pandora’s Box opened for you, and you get jumbled with two worlds, two processes of thoughts, and two languages.  Reaching a level of normalcy, even if only a slight bit, in both of them something no one can truly explain to those who haven’t felt it.  It’s so much and so little at the same time.  It’s just hard, not being high and mighty, it’s just what it is.

So we exchangers, we grow, we hurt, we learn, we connect, we enjoy, and we expand with our new languages.  Our new world that we are an alien in thinks in this new language and we are teaching ourselves to do the same.  It’s hard work, but we have each other and those who came before us to help us.  Some of the people I talk to the most are my fellow exchangees. 

The rebounds are good sources for dealing with language pains.  Sometimes you just need someone to complain to, to vent the frustrations of transition to, and your fellow inbounds are the perfect ‘ahem’ victims.  Nothing makes you feel better on an angry day than sharing with someone who knows exactly what is going on, who is going through the same pains and can share their own stories.

These people are my support net, they catch me just as I slip and throw a fit.  They got my back and remind me that it’s normal to be like I am, that it’s perfectly okay to be moody and upset sometimes because of sheer frustration.  They give me the good times to look back at and foreword to as I push myself through the times of language stagnation.

Being a child is no fun.  Growing up hurts.  I look forward to the day I can read the books given to me by my friends in Japanese.  I look towards the day that I can talk freely with them.  I look for the light in the shadows of my self-doubt that I will ever be able to do such things.  I can only push forward and enjoy the moments of pure satisfaction as I succeed and win little battles.

See You Soon

Mata chikaiuchini

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