On Progress

Confidence

So it’s almost New Year’s here.  Everything is a rush with the holidays.  People are bustling about, school is out for now, and it’s the busiest I’ve been since I’ve gotten here.

I’ve also had time to think and center myself even with the hustle and the bustle.  I like have some time to myself to think about how all of this has gone.  It’s gone good, very, very good.  I’m beyond happy with time in Japan and can’t wait for more.

A major thing I think about is language.  I’ve reached another block in my language skills just like I did when I first got here.  It’s like a mental block where your brain is supplying English and Japanese at once, making your mouth choose on its own without any held form the mind.  It frustrating, saying Japanese when I want to speak English or vice versa.

My Japanese skills have gotten incredibly better over the five months I have been here.

I barely knew a lick of Japanese before I landed.  I knew how to say the important things.  I knew how to ask for important things.  I did not know how to hold a conversation.  I did not know grammar.  I did not have a vocabulary to speak of.

I was pathetically lost for the first while.

People helped me.  I went to classes.  I kept going to school even though I felt discouraged with my lack of ability.  I improved.  I improved to the point that I have a vocabulary, it may not be big, but I can speak what’s on my mind sometimes.  I can add my two cents.  I can answer questions and discuss topics with others.  I have to mentally work myself with each conversation.  I have to push my ability to memorize and utilize.

Learning a language uses a whole new set of skills.

Sure, I’ve taken high school language calls.  I took Spanish.  I remember being pretty good at Spanish, it hadn’t been hard to learn at all.  Using is properly had been the issue.  Turns out Spanish is closely related to English on the language tree.  Sadly, Japanese is not.

I have always, in another language, understood more when being spoken to rather than trying to speak myself.  It’s useful, but at the same time it is very limiting.  I could listen to a conversation in Spanish and get a basis of time, place, what was going on, and who.  I could write in Spanish very well.  I could do just about everything but speak and that was what we were graded on.

I am faced with the same problems here in Japan.  I can write Japanese decently if give the time to think through what I need to say.  I can usually get my particle correct too!  That’s important.  I also understand more when I am spoken to rather than speaking myself.  It’s so frustrating.

With these improvements in speaking comes the bigger and bigger blocks I have to get over.  Each step with this language is fought for.  It is memorized, it is written down, it is stored away for study, and it is dreamed about later.  I dream in Japanese and English now.  It’s always a mix of thing I do and don’t quite understand.  Even in my sleep I am working through the language.

I personally think that that’s pretty cool.  It’s helped me make the leaps and bounds.

When I first came I could tell you my name and age.  Now I can tell you those along with my school club, what majors I want to get, the name of my college, my families relations to me, and so much more.  I can comment on the weather, I can comment on how it’s so cold and that it’s nice to have a cup of hot tea.  I can tell people that I’m tired.  I can tell people that I’m dreaming in Japanese.  I can speak my thoughts if I work on it.  I can tell them what I want to eat.  I can tell them when I’m missing someone or something.

These are things I took for granted.  I took the ability to speak as a common place idea.  What else was I supposed to think about thinking and speaking?  It’s something none of us really remember learning how to do.  Most of us don’t remember learning the basics of our own home tongue.  Sure, we remember expanding our vocabularies and learning the rules of grammar.

How many times have you corrected a kid when the say “That didn’t went well.”  “No, it’s ‘that didn’t go well’.”  You don’t really remember those lessons growing up, but they were there I promise.

We speak and we think without ever thinking a second thought about it.  It’s our language.  Basic English is usually mastered by the end of Elementary if not before that.  It expands over the upcoming years of schooling, but you can function correctly in society with basic speaking and reading after Elementary.

Here in Japan I couldn’t even read a road sign.  There were no familiar alphabets in sight.  It was kanji only.

I’m learning them.  Slowly and surely I am learning them.  They have many meanings depending on how they are arranged, where they are arranged, and what they are paired with.  I have a few mastered.  They are the most basic of basic but it’s a step.

Spoken Japanese isn’t complicated.  It’s a language based on present and past.  It has a base in a lot of emotions and sayings I don’t grasp quite yet.

The other day I was speaking with a classmate over the internet.  We were using Japanese.  They felt brave enough to use kanji with me.  I appreciated that, it gives me a chance to study and learn how to use them correctly.  Learning by mimicking is something I am excelling at.

I used a translator to decipher the words I didn’t know, and in that moment my brain did what the translator was doing but it did it better.  I understood the sentence better if I didn’t use the botched translation given to me by the internet.  I was beyond proud in that moment.  I understood what they were saying and asking far better when I stepped away from the translations.  Yes, I do need to still use it when I have absolutely no clue what the combination of kanji and hiragana mean.

It’s physical proof to how much better I am doing.

It gives me that little push I need to help get over the language and block and delve myself further into the language so I can continue to express myself and my view of the world around me to people who are curious about me.  If that isn’t a confidence boost, being able to communicate, then I don’t know what is.

So I have reached a block, but I have more than enough will and help to get over it just as I did the first one!  I am hungry for communicating with these people.  I want to learn what they have to teach me.  Things I can only learn from them.  It’s another push to get me along my way that’s for sure.

With the New Year I want to continue.  I want to continue until I can function equally in both languages and cultures.  I am striving for that biculturalism I hear so much about.  So here’s to trying for more, for reaching for that star that seems just out of reach right now.  I’m getting closer and I can feel it.

See You Soon

Mata chikaiuchini
また近いうちに

On Holidays Abroad

Tradition

I have the best memories of Christmas as a kid.  My family must have done something right!  I was a really lucky kid.  I say that and I mean it as well.  Christmas was always one of my favorite times of the year growing-up.

I was the baby.  I was always the baby of my family.  I was the first grandchild so of course there is some spoiling that comes with that.  My gifts were awesome, but I liked the time with all of my family far more than any gift I ever received.  From the time I was born till first grade I had lived with everyone in my close family.  I lived with my mom, aunts, uncle, my grandma, and my grandpa.  We all lived in one house.  When I moved, Christmas and other holidays became just that more important to me.

Our tree was real.  Every year the smell of pine makes me think of Christmas.  Our ornaments were old, handmade, and many were worn.  I added a few every year from school projects or special occasions that took place.  I have my favorites for sure.  We would stack the presents under the tree, wherever the tree was placed that year.  Sometimes it was next to the fireplace or in the corner of the room, but it never failed in drawing attention to it.

I loved the tree.  I loved the time spent decorating and taking it down.  It was full of memories and stories.

Holiday food is my favorite kind of food.  I eat holiday food outside of holiday times, but it just tastes better with that atmosphere Christmas gives it.

Everything about Christmas is linked to family and time spent with them.  From the tree, to the presents, to the food, and to the time spent with family.  I’m a family orientated person.

We don’t celebrate Christmas here in Japan.

It’s purely commercial.  Christianity was banned for a number of years, it has yet to gain a real footing here in the land of the rising sun.  There are Santa’s everywhere. There are advertisements for KFC chicken buckets and Christmas Cakes, because that’s how the Japanese celebrate their Christmas.

No trees are put up.  No ornaments are hung.  There is no feast.  Sure there is the Japanese aspect to marvel at, how they celebrate in their own way.  It’s fascinating to me, but at the same time it’s a bit of a disappointment.  The child in me wants to hang my stocking, wants to put up my family tree, and wants American Christmas food.  That little kid in me really, really, wants to be home for the Holidays.

I think it’s because of my history with Christmas and such.  I’ve never been away, truly away, like this before.  It’s taken a little longer than I expected for it to hit me.  I am very far away.

In those moments, where I miss Christmas and the traditions my family have that come with it, I go for a walk.  Kashima is beautiful this time of year, and just the right temperature for me as well.  Just cold enough to see your breath but not so cold that you need a full jacket.

When it all gets a little overwhelming I go on a walk and think about how much I wanted to get here.  I think about the new things I am experiencing.  No, I may not have my traditions here, but that just means I can learn about the Japanese ones.  Sure I want to put up a tree but I think in doing so I would make myself homesick.  I don’t want to do that to myself.  So I look at the Japanese wreaths they put up for Christmas and admire them.  I know I will be missing them next year after all.

It’s hard.  I’m not going to lie to you or myself.  I miss my family right now.  I really miss my family.  That’s all the more reason to soak in what I can.  I’m throwing myself into my studies, into cultural things, and into life with my host family.  I’m keeping busy with learning all I can because it’s all over in a little bit.

It is best not to dwell on what you can’t do.  It’s a far better mentality to go about doing things you could never do in your home country.  That’s my tidbit of advice for the Holiday Season.

See You Soon

Mata chikaiuchini

また近いうちに

On Changing to a New Host Family.

NEW

There’s a sense of attachment I get when I live with someone.  I noticed that here.  I felt connected with my first host family when I lived with them.  I felt like I was one of them because I was treated as such.  I was asked to help cook, to help clean, to help look after kids, and I was asked to be a part of their family.

It didn’t start that way.  I was treated as a guest would be.  Everything was provided, nothing was asked of me.  That made me uncomfortable.  You see, I’m a horrible guest.  I don’t like to sit and watch people clean my spot at the table for me.  I don’t like not being involved with family affairs.  I being a guest has never worked well!

I worked my way to ‘family’ member by offering my help, by asking if I can do something, and hanging around kids always leads to helping in one way or another.

I had a set routine with my last family.  I had times I got up, foods I usually ate, times I usually bathed, and I had a place in the flower shop to talk to people.  I had a normal routine for the first time since coming here.  I’m a creature of habit, but sometimes I don’t mind breaking it.  Right now, having a routine gives me a little comfort in the still very alien world I am living in.

Oh wait, I’m the alien here!

I recently changed host families.  I have a new routine, I have a new family, I have a new bed, I have a new rules, and I have a new route to school.  That’s a lot of new on my plate.  My rug of comfort has once again been pulled out from under my feet.  

I haven’t been cut down at the knees though, this family is very, very kind.  I can’t stress how kind most of the people I have come across here in Japan are.  Sure there are bad apples, but the kindness far outweighs the gloom.  I have friends at school who are supporting me, actively voicing to me (which surprises me, I’ve observed that Japanese are a very closed door society on emotions and such), and my Host Rotary and Families, all of them, are helping me.  They ask if I am okay, ask how I am doing, compliment me on my still horrible Japanese (I TRY!) and much, much, more.

In Rotary we change families, so if any of you are applying, you should know this.  I think it gives you a wider view of daily life, seeing it from varying houses and lifestyles.  I’m not sure if I’m totally sold on it, but I appreciate it nonetheless.  I can tell you already the two houses I have lived in are very, very, different from one another.

My first house was very busy.  Bust in a sense that they were running a flower shop from the main floor.  The second floor was rented to a woman who had a SPA on half of the floor.  There were six young children always in and out of the door, coming and going from school and afterschool activities.  People were always in and out on deliveries, it being a flower shop after all.  I was always doing something, and if I didn’t want to do something I would run up to the third floor and hang out with the littlest of the kids.  It was a style of life I was used to.  My family back home is busy, I never took part in the busyness, not usually at least, but it was a familiar sight.  It was something I knew well and was a welcome sight of a little bit of normality.

My first house was full of women.  Another thing I am used, I come from a family full of strong women and men, but the girls outnumber the boys any day!  I had people around the same ages as my mom, aunts, and uncles.  I’ve always been more comfortable around people older than me, maybe it’s because I’ve always been the baby age wise.  I’ve always been the youngest, so there was comfort in having the older presence of ages I am familiar with being around.

My first house was kind, but I as I said before, I was treated as a guest for a little while.  Once I got over that bump I got into a daily routine that revolved around school, club, and home life.  It was a smooth routine that was occasionally changed if something fun came up or I need to be somewhere for Rotary.

I spent roughly three months with that family, and it was probably the best family for me to start out my year with.  I think I wouldn’t have adjusted as well as I have if it weren’t for them.  The first family is always the one that makes the first impression, they are pretty important and have to deal with us silly exchangers and our lack of knowledge.  I know a lot more thanks to them, they were a wonderful guide.

Now I am living in my second host house.  This house is much more like the home I have back in American, the setup of the family and the house is very modern as well.  Thought there are a few major differences.

One major different is how very quiet this house is.  It is very quiet and laidback.  I like it but I don’t think I could have handled it in the beginning of my exchange.  I appreciate it now, it lets me study and do my thing a lot easier than it was at the last house.  I’ve gotten focused with my studies, so peace and quiet help those along nicely!  Another major difference is that I feel like I’m going to be treated like a family member, but less so than the last house.  That just seems to be how this family operates.

Just a little side lesson on what seems to be traditional Japanese families.  Traditionally it is men who rule the roost.  The mother, well she mothers everyone who comes into her house, guests and her children alike.  The guest will always come first.  They are seated first, they say their thanks to the food first, and most importantly they bathe first.  Family members, they seem to be close, but emotionally Japan is still very much a closed door society.  They don’t really like going against the grain.  There have been psychological experiments and it is proven that a Japanese person will put the group before themselves on most occasion.  Everything is very quiet, very still, and almost feels too detached at sometimes.

Onwards.  My family is very traditional.  I like being able to view it though, seeing the differences between my last family and this family.  It makes me wonder what my third family will be like.

The father is the patriarch, his wife below him, then comes the children, then the male family members, then the female ones it seems.  It’s very traditional in every sense.

It a cultural shock for me even though I studied about this, even though I read about it, it is nothing like living the real thing.  I come from a family where the women rule.  They are the strong figures in my life, not to say I don’t have awesome male relatives as well, it’s just the women who rule the roost!  So having a host father run the show was a bit unsettling at first.  I’m a little more used to it now.  It was interesting for a while at least!

My room is very traditional as well.  The last one I was in had wooden floors and then a carpet rug when it started to get a little chilly out.  My new room has tatami floors.  That is bamboo that is woven into a thick mat that is surprisingly comfortable!  I will tell you now, I will miss taking naps on tatami floors.  I don’t sleep on a futon, or a mattress that is laid flat on the ground.  I sleep in what appears to be a hospital bed.

My whole house is equipped for when my host mother and host father get to be very old.  It will still be able to be used by them and it will still be safe for them to live in.  Japanese people tend to live for a very long time, so while they still can, the older ones plan for the inevitable.  They make their houses so they won’t have to leave, the place where most of them where born.

My bathroom is also much smaller and the tub is very small.  I have to pull my knees in to fit comfortably, but I don’t mind.  It is deeper in this house than in the last.

I’ve got a semi-normal routine now and it’s nice especially right now.  Tis the season to be jolly after all.   My family is very kind, they always worry if I’m eating foods that make me happy, if I need anything, how school is going, and how my studies go.  I’m grateful for them, don’t doubt that.

I’ll give another family update when I switch to my third house in a few months.  I wonder what they will be like!

See You Soon

Mata chikaiuchini
また近いうちに