NEW
There’s a sense of attachment I get when I live with
someone. I noticed that here. I felt connected with my first host family
when I lived with them. I felt like I
was one of them because I was treated as such.
I was asked to help cook, to help clean, to help look after kids, and I
was asked to be a part of their family.
It didn’t start that way.
I was treated as a guest would be.
Everything was provided, nothing was asked of me. That made me uncomfortable. You see, I’m a horrible guest. I don’t like to sit and watch people clean my
spot at the table for me. I don’t like
not being involved with family affairs. I
being a guest has never worked well!
I worked my way to ‘family’ member by offering my help, by
asking if I can do something, and hanging around kids always leads to helping in
one way or another.
I had a set routine with my last family. I had times I got up, foods I usually ate,
times I usually bathed, and I had a place in the flower shop to talk to
people. I had a normal routine for the first
time since coming here. I’m a creature
of habit, but sometimes I don’t mind breaking it. Right now, having a routine gives me a little
comfort in the still very alien world I am living in.
Oh wait, I’m the alien here!
I recently changed host families. I have a new routine, I have a new family, I
have a new bed, I have a new rules, and I have a new route to school. That’s a lot of new on my plate. My rug of comfort has once again been pulled
out from under my feet.
I haven’t been cut down at the knees though, this family is
very, very kind. I can’t stress how kind
most of the people I have come across here in Japan are. Sure there are bad apples, but the kindness
far outweighs the gloom. I have friends
at school who are supporting me, actively voicing to me (which surprises me, I’ve
observed that Japanese are a very closed door society on emotions and such),
and my Host Rotary and Families, all of them, are helping me. They ask if I am okay, ask how I am doing,
compliment me on my still horrible Japanese (I TRY!) and much, much, more.
In Rotary we change families, so if any of you are applying,
you should know this. I think it gives
you a wider view of daily life, seeing it from varying houses and
lifestyles. I’m not sure if I’m totally
sold on it, but I appreciate it nonetheless.
I can tell you already the two houses I have lived in are very, very,
different from one another.
My first house was very busy. Bust in a sense that they were running a
flower shop from the main floor. The
second floor was rented to a woman who had a SPA on half of the floor. There were six young children always in and
out of the door, coming and going from school and afterschool activities. People were always in and out on deliveries,
it being a flower shop after all. I was
always doing something, and if I didn’t want to do something I would run up to
the third floor and hang out with the littlest of the kids. It was a style of life I was used to. My family back home is busy, I never took
part in the busyness, not usually at least, but it was a familiar sight. It was something I knew well and was a
welcome sight of a little bit of normality.
My first house was full of women. Another thing I am used, I come from a family
full of strong women and men, but the girls outnumber the boys any day! I had people around the same ages as my mom,
aunts, and uncles. I’ve always been more
comfortable around people older than me, maybe it’s because I’ve always been
the baby age wise. I’ve always been the
youngest, so there was comfort in having the older presence of ages I am
familiar with being around.
My first house was kind, but I as I said before, I was
treated as a guest for a little while.
Once I got over that bump I got into a daily routine that revolved
around school, club, and home life. It
was a smooth routine that was occasionally changed if something fun came up or
I need to be somewhere for Rotary.
I spent roughly three months with that family, and it was probably
the best family for me to start out my year with. I think I wouldn’t have adjusted as well as I
have if it weren’t for them. The first
family is always the one that makes the first impression, they are pretty
important and have to deal with us silly exchangers and our lack of
knowledge. I know a lot more thanks to
them, they were a wonderful guide.
Now I am living in my second host house. This house is much more like the home I have
back in American, the setup of the family and the house is very modern as
well. Thought there are a few major
differences.
One major different is how very quiet this house is. It is very quiet and laidback. I like it but I don’t think I could have
handled it in the beginning of my exchange.
I appreciate it now, it lets me study and do my thing a lot easier than
it was at the last house. I’ve gotten
focused with my studies, so peace and quiet help those along nicely! Another major difference is that I feel like
I’m going to be treated like a family member, but less so than the last house. That just seems to be how this family operates.
Just a little side lesson on what seems to be traditional
Japanese families. Traditionally it is
men who rule the roost. The mother, well
she mothers everyone who comes into her house, guests and her children
alike. The guest will always come
first. They are seated first, they say
their thanks to the food first, and most importantly they bathe first. Family members, they seem to be close, but
emotionally Japan is still very much a closed door society. They don’t really like going against the
grain. There have been psychological experiments
and it is proven that a Japanese person will put the group before themselves on
most occasion. Everything is very quiet,
very still, and almost feels too detached at sometimes.
Onwards. My family is
very traditional. I like being able to
view it though, seeing the differences between my last family and this
family. It makes me wonder what my third
family will be like.
The father is the patriarch, his wife below him, then comes
the children, then the male family members, then the female ones it seems. It’s very traditional in every sense.
It a cultural shock for me even though I studied about this,
even though I read about it, it is nothing like living the real thing. I come from a family where the women
rule. They are the strong figures in my
life, not to say I don’t have awesome male relatives as well, it’s just the
women who rule the roost! So having a host
father run the show was a bit unsettling at first. I’m a little more used to it now. It was interesting for a while at least!
My room is very traditional as well. The last one I was in had wooden floors and
then a carpet rug when it started to get a little chilly out. My new room has tatami floors. That is bamboo that is woven into a thick mat
that is surprisingly comfortable! I will
tell you now, I will miss taking naps on tatami floors. I don’t sleep on a futon, or a mattress that
is laid flat on the ground. I sleep in
what appears to be a hospital bed.
My whole house is equipped for when my host mother and host
father get to be very old. It will still
be able to be used by them and it will still be safe for them to live in. Japanese people tend to live for a very long
time, so while they still can, the older ones plan for the inevitable. They make their houses so they won’t have to
leave, the place where most of them where born.
My bathroom is also much smaller and the tub is very
small. I have to pull my knees in to fit
comfortably, but I don’t mind. It is
deeper in this house than in the last.
I’ve got a semi-normal routine now and it’s nice especially
right now. Tis the season to be jolly
after all. My family is very kind, they
always worry if I’m eating foods that make me happy, if I need anything, how
school is going, and how my studies go.
I’m grateful for them, don’t doubt that.
I’ll give another family update when I switch to my third house
in a few months. I wonder what they will
be like!
See You Soon
Mata chikaiuchiniまた近いうちに
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