On Normal

Changes

My perception of normal life had changed.  This is a given, having lived in Japan for over six months now, but it still throws me through a loop when I sit back and really take a look.  This is my life.  I’m happy with it most days.  Sure, I get homesick and upset, but overall I’m pretty happy.

My normal includes a lot of things I hadn’t really thought about before coming here.  Riding my bike to the train station and successfully getting a ticket to the next town over is one of them.  Walking up the long road to school decked out in my full uniform is another.  I would have never though that putting on a kimono would become something natural and normal for me to do.  It’s so easy, living this life now.  I'm no longer afraid of what I might have to confront the next day because let's be honest, I've been tackling days for almost seven months now.  I think I've got a grip on it now.

I would have never imaged it this way when I had first touched down.  I was deathly scared and overwhelming amazed with everything when I first got here in August.  Everything was new, fresh, and so very strange to me.  Everything was something to discover.

Now, this strange world has become a part of my daily life.  It is something that few will really understand but I’m okay with that.  My fellow exchange students know this feeling.  We will have spent around a year of our lives away from our families.  We don’t tell them everything that happens every day so the little lessons learned are lost between us.  These little lessons are hard to put into words for myself because I don’t have words for them surprisingly enough.

I have learned many big lessons which area always good stories to share and tell to explain exactly what it is I am doing living here.

I’ve changed, mutated in ways that make sense but I never envisioned.  I’m older without being older with this.  Maybe matured is the better word for it.

Overall, exchange is about growth.  That’s the bottom line and what it comes down to is how much you have grown, how far you have stretched, to get to where you are now. 

I like this feeling, of knowing who I am and what my limits are.  It makes one comfortable in one’s own skin to know your own downfalls and short comings.  It gives you a chance to grow over them and move past the blocks in your life.  It lets you explore you for you and evaluate what kind of person you are.

I have a short temper, or I did before coming here.  I still have a bit of a flare in me but it’s more spice than burn.  I knew I had a temper back home so I kept it under control by watching myself.  I’ve had flares of anger here but they seem to work with my frustration then just pure anger.  I’m more balanced now because of the time I have spent looking at myself, examining who I am, and taking the measures I need to fix the issue.  Japan, or at least the area I live in, is sleepy.  This has helped me smooth myself.

As I’m changing I am learning.  I like this feeling of inward expansion as I blunder through my days.  I’ve expanded my sense of normal and what is normal for others and I can see the differences and appreciate them.

I’m a little over half way there, so I think I’m going to keep up the pace that I have set.

See You Soon

また近いうちに

Mata chikaiuchiniou